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Office Vegan Outraged Her Dietary Restrictions Constantly Taken Into Consideration


Santa Monica, CA – Caroline Morgan left work early after her manager, Jacqueline Hammond, included a vegan option specifically for her during a lunch meeting. Morgan had spent the previous evening and her morning commute practicing her lecture that failing to take her vegan diet into consideration is a microcosm of what’s wrong with the world and exemplified why the…

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Entire Meeting Spent Denouncing PowerPoint Deck’s Inconsistent Bullet Point Format


San Antonio, TX – Meeting attendees voiced their displeasure during account manager Judy Armstead’s PowerPoint presentation after suffering through wildly different bullet point formats instead of paying any attention to her realistic suggestions to grow their client base. Coworkers noted that Armstead failed to use her time properly before the presentation by focusing strictly on creating a strong, executable business…

Accountant Tired Of Only Getting Questions About Company’s Revenue


Huntington, NY – Anonymous sources report that office accountant Monica Earnhardt has complained to her manager, Sean Wilks, about the overwhelming amount of work-related questions that are directed to her, taking umbrage with the fact that her coworkers seem more concerned with how well the company’s profit margin is performing rather than showing any concern about her sick tabby cat,…

Furloughed Government Worker’s Journey Of Self-Discovery Reveals That She Values Getting Paid On Time


Arlington, VA – After seeing the government shutdown as an opportunity to spend some much-needed time seeking out her true self, Kira McCormick returned home delighted to discover that her own self-worth and happiness stemmed almost entirely from receiving her bi-weekly paychecks. After driving cross-country to see America’s beautiful, unattended national parks, McCormick came to realize that the steady income…

Insubordinate Employee Refuses To Take Blame For Manager’s Mistake


Dover, NH – Tempers flared and disciplinary actions were taken after marketing coordinator Shannon Marsh couldn’t complete the task Leo Doyle, Marsh’s manager, assigned to her: taking the fall for an erroneous email he sent to all of the company’s clients. The email, which was supposed to simply wish them a happy new year, instead contained a completely irrelevant conversation…

Restaurant’s Social Media Manager Questions Meaning Of Life After Photo Of Egg Gets 40 Million Likes On Instagram


Burbank, CA – Dylan Ritter, social media manager for local breakfast spot How Would You Like Your Eggs, told his girlfriend, Shannon Murphy, that he no longer knows what to believe after the Instagram account world_record_egg’s stock photo of a brown egg surpassed over 40 million likes. When Murphy mentioned that it had overtaken “Despacito” as the most liked media…

Software Engineer Argues That Strip Club Expense Is Work Related


San Francisco, CA – HR officials refused to approve Brandon Northwood’s travel expenses after reviewing his meals, noting that he had eaten all of his meals at gentleman’s clubs and spending over $12,700 during a two-night conference trip, believing that it would have been possible for him to eat at restaurants that don’t feature naked women gyrating to Kid Rock…

Unpaid TSA Worker Still Coming To Work Cites Dedication To National Security, Cavity Searches


Los Angeles, CA – As the government shutdown extends into its fourth week and federal workers deal with the ramifications of missed paychecks, many airport workers have started calling out sick in protest. However, LAX airport TSA security screener Luke Armstrong continues to come into work, stating that the nation’s security depends too heavily on what he finds inside travelers’…

Sears Chairman Submits Conditional $5 Billion Bid To Save Bankrupt Department Store Chain That Requires Middle America To Cancel Its Internet Access


New York, NY – In an effort to keep retail stores open across the country, Sears chairman Eddie Lampert submitted a takeover bid of over $5 billion that is contingent upon all of Middle America canceling their Internet service, which he believes will allow Sears to compete with online etail companies such as Amazon and eBay. Lampert also wants wireless…