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Coworker Boldly Declares Working Four-Day Weeks Superior To Five-Day Weeks


Tampa, FL – After arriving to two hours late to work while clearly hungover, a bleary-eyed Justin Edwards stated matter-of-factly to disinterested coworkers that five day work-weeks are too long, and that four day work-weeks are clearly the better option. Despite his bold proclamation, Edwards’ coworkers consider themselves clearly familiar with his stance, as Edwards has made clear multiple times…

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Op-Ed: As The Victim Of Workplace Harassment, I Should Get To Pick Where We Go To Lunch On Fridays


By Theresa Gabler Senior Marketing Manager, Holmes Aerodynamics Hey everyone, hope you’ve had a great week at work, got all your projects finished, and didn’t get cornered in the bathroom by the CEO’s son! I know we usually do a rotation thing when it comes to pick lunch, and since it’s Kevin’s turn to pick, I think we all know…

Man Successfully Counters Every Single One Of Boss’ Objections Several Hours Later During Drive Home


Duluth, MN – As he replayed their earlier conversation repeatedly while stuck in I-35 traffic, Roy Thomas couldn’t contain his smile as he came up with flawless, quick-witted solutions to his Andre Rhodes’ questions roughly seven hours after being unable to answer any of his manager’s counterpoints. Thomas’ imagined scenario played out the exact opposite of the actual event, a…

Ghost Haunting Office Struggling To Frighten Employees More Than Their Daily Work Routine


San Diego, CA – The ghost of bloodthirsty Spanish pirate Diego Cervantes, who perished in the Pacific Ocean in 1691 and was cursed by a Kree shaman to roam the earth eternally while trapped between worlds, has expressed frustration to his fellow ghost colleagues that his efforts to ruthlessly torment the employees of app game developer Cashcow Studios have gone…

Intrigue Overtakes Office After Coworker Refuses To Disclose Contents Of Amazon Delivery


Boston, MA – Stockford Architecture employees sat in shocked disbelief after lead designer Dwight Cunningham refused multiple inquiries regarding a personal Amazon delivery, the latest in a long line of incidents that has created a rift between Cunningham and other employees. Cunningham has developed a standoffish reputation among his coworkers, especially after refusing to divulge why he took last last…

Report: Coworker Looking Forward To Long Weekend


Pittsburgh, PA – As the long Memorial Day holiday approached, Nathan Kennedy excitedly informed his coworkers about his enthusiasm for the long weekend. While Kennedy couldn’t name any different plans for the extended weekend than any other weekend, he did make vague references to “unwinding” and “focusing on recharging the ol’ batteries.” Coworkers were able to deduce that Kennedy, whose…

Report: Manager Still Working 2017 Skydiving Trip Into Any And Every Conversation


Anaheim, CA – Less than five minutes into the weekly product roadmap meeting, Gil Foster surprised absolutely no one in the room by bringing up his 2017 skydiving experience after Christie Pittman declared that the team needed to “think outside the box more.” Foster then proceeded to commandeer Dan Pittman’s laptop so that he could play his YouTube skydiving playlist,…

Scandal Rocks Bethlehem Animal Shelter After Workers Uncover Secret Cat Orgies


Bethlehem, PA – Animal care worker Darlene Blanchard was forced to flee Bethlehem Animal Shelter after she stumbled upon Mittens, Muffins, Princess Zelda and Catson Wentz (named after Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz) engaging in what has candidly been referred to as a “feline f—fest.” Blanchard was shocked to discover that the adorable kittens, all of whom have been the…

Woman Currently In Middle Of Game Of Thrones’ First Season Demands Coworkers Don’t Spoil Final Episode


Portland, OR – After spending her Sunday watching the first three episodes of Game of Thrones, marketing manager Jenna Schmidt has politely yet sternly requested that no one else at work discuss any of single detail from the award-winning show’s series finale. Schmidt also demanded that no one discuss anything from the fourth episode on, though she was quick to…