Spark, NV – Despite the best efforts of office manager Clarice Palmer to lift office morale with a “fun shindig”, employees confirmed that automotive repossession agency Repo Depot’s Secret Santa party was a lackluster, low-effort affair, with all of the gifts clearly bought at the 7-Eleven across the street. Palmer, who received a quart of Pennzoil 10W-40 oil from truck driver Richard Quinn, was clearly disappointed at the lack of effort. However, she considered it better than last year’s Secret Santa party when the entire office called out sick with the gout to avoid attending.
All of the party attendees struggled to show any enthusiasm for their last-minute presents, except for Rodolfo Pierce, who was in desperate need of chapstick. Other gifts were not nearly as useful, such as a Google Play gift card for iPhone user Natasha Figueroa. Other presents seemed almost particularly vindictive, such as a 12-pack of Tecate Light for recovering alcoholic Bobby Shaw, lottery tickets for office gambler Sheri Robertson, and Trojan condoms for Angela Garrett, mother of seven.
Quinn later asked Palmer if she planned on using her gift since his F-150 had started showing a low oil warning light earlier that day.