Miller Coors CEO Baffled That New Turkey -Flavored Beer Not Flying Off Shelves Before Thanksgiving

Milwaukee, WI – With thousands of Thanksgiving-themed cases of beer sitting unsold in warehouses across the country, Miller Coors CEO Gavin Hattersley told executives that there was simply no way that anyone could have known that Americans wouldn’t flock to their Miller Honey-Baked Turkey Lite Beer. According to sources, Hattersley expected the new product to become an instant holiday hit, despite the fact that test groups panned the beer as “a vomit-inducing flavor mix of week-old turkey combined with carbonated rabbit urine.”

Despite the poor reception, Hattersley expects their seasonal Christmas beer, Santa’s Ash Crack Miller Ultra, to perform phenomenally.

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