First-Year Analyst Just Going To Attribute Three-Year Downward Spiral As “Seasonal Trend”

Tallahassee, FL – After a deep-dive into fidget spinner manufacturer Spinaroonie’s historical revenue performance revealed a business model hemorrhaging money for the past three years, newly hired analyst Tony DeLonge decided to brush off the obvious signs of systemic failure as nothing more than a “seasonal trend.” DeLonge, who recently graduated from Florida State University, weighed the pros and cons of alerting Spinaroonie executives about the company’s dying business model. Should DeLonge let his superiors know about his discovery, he could be hailed as the heroic young mind that saved fidget spinners, but it would almost certainly require responding to emails on the same weekend that he had scored some pretty kick-ass tickets to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers game.

Thinking proactively, DeLonge then proceeded to delete the file to ensure that he wouldn’t have to answer any questions while tailgating on Sunday.

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