Minneapolis, MN – As her manager, Vince Roberts, drew on the whiteboard all of the bands that never would have existed if Tool’s signature sound had never been invented, first year analyst Sasha Reubens nodded along politely, completely unaware that her entire career rested on agreeing with Roberts’ position. Anonymous coworkers report that they tried to tell Reubens that she should spend her off-hours listening to Tool’s entire discography repeatedly if she wanted to keep her job, but she declined and categorized herself as “more of a Taylor Swift kind of girl.”

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