Product Manager Plans To Get Started On Big Project Just As Soon As He Finishes Reading Patch Notes On Game He’s Never Played

Ogden, UT – With his 2020 roadmap due in less than five hours, Miyogee product manager Waylon Anderson fully intends to buckle down and get started just as soon as he finishes reading the latest patch notes for Ubisoft’s looter shooter, Ghost Recon: Breakpoint. Anderson, who has never played any game in the Ghost Recon series, swears that he isn’t letting himself get distracted but is instead just performing due diligence on how other companies communicate changes to their users. It remains unclear to Anderson’s coworkers how that would be relevant to their line of work since they have no user base, offer a completely different service, and are in a totally different industry.

When asked by his manager for an update, Anderson estimated that the roadmap is about 95% complete in his mind. All that he has left is to just need to write it up, slap it into a PowerPoint, create a few different forecasting models, and actually create a plan. He expects all of that to take “two seconds” just as soon as he finishes meticulously poring over every patch detail and why it was a terrible idea.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe they nerfed the ‘Pack Mule’ skill,” laughed Anderson. “People are gonna be hella pissed when they hear about that.”

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