Employee Morale At All-Time High After H.R. Splurges On Regular-Size Candy Bars For Halloween

Pasadena, CA – Miyogee employees reported “never feeling more happy at work” today after discovering that H.R. coordinator Julie Newman purchased regular-size Snickers, Hershey’s, Twix, and Kit Kat bars for Halloween instead of the abominations known as “family packs.” For many of Newman’s coworkers, her decision not only reignited their passion for Miyogee’s corporate mission, it also undid the childhood psychological trauma of getting crappy Halloween treats.

“When I was a kid, I lived in your typical middle-America suburb with neighbors that used coupons and drove American cars,” recalled V.P. of Marketing Devin Patterson. “When I went trick-or-treating, they would just hand out sample-size Krackel bars.

“Thanks to Julie though, it’s like I can finally forgive my mom and dad for never taking me to the rich neighborhoods on Halloween. Maybe now I can finally introduce them to their grandchildren.”

Related: H.R. Excited To Add “Best Slutty Costume” To Halloween Awards

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