Facebook’s New Libra Cryptocurrency Will Finally Allow Grandparents To Not Waste Time Inputting Credit Card Information When Falling For Social Media Phishing Scams

Palo Alto, CA – In a decision applauded by scammers across the globe, Facebook announced that their new Libra cryptocurrency will fully integrate into all existing phishing attacks directed at the elderly. Facebook CEO proudly declared that Libra would eliminate the need for easily-duped elders to waste time entering credit card information or mailing wads of cash to an unmarked mailing address somewhere in Bolivia.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve convinced some poor grandma that her grandson is going to spend the rest of his life rotting away in some MS13-infested prison unless they send me $5,000, only to come up empty because they don’t know how to tie Venmo to their bank account,” said hacker and all-around terrible human being Gr1ft3r 0mega. “But thanks to Facebook, the elderly will be able to pay me quicker than it would take for them to call their grandson to see if he’s still in the country.”

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