Quiet Coworker Spends Every Meeting Daydreaming About Fending Off Terrorist Attack

Arlington, VA – As his coworkers spent an entire meeting arguing over nothing, data analyst Ruben Vaughn instead sat silently as he imagined singlehandedly defending the office from highly trained Mexican drug cartel assassins. While many employees, regardless of whether or not they have anything meaningful to contribute, will attempt to speak as much as possible in a meeting, Vaughn will instead use the opportunity to drift into his own action-movie fantasy.

“It can be hard to come up with reasons why a Mexican drug cartel would want to raid a the headquarters of a dog-grooming chain, but I’ve made it work,” said Vaughn. “Sometimes I pretend that the president’s caravan is attacked from all sides like Hobbs in Fast and The Furious 5, and he has to hide into our product roadmap meeting, where a dying Secret Service agent gives me his sidearm. And, of course, that’s all I need.

“Sometimes I like to make it a bit more mythical, like there’s some ancient Mexican god’s heart buried under our office. I usually end up with superpowers, and somehow I end up romantically involved with Selena Gomez.

“I’d say more, but Miramax has actually picked up the option on that daydream and is planning on turning it into a Jason Statham trilogy.”

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