Fairfax, VA – After his coworker told him that yesterday’s team presentation was “one for the books”, operations manager Josh Holmes was visibly shocked to discover no mention of the revelatory performance whatsoever in the Washington Post. Holmes told sources that there must have been some mistake after confirming that he had called the prestigious paper’s anonymous tip line twice. Holmes said that the second phone call was necessary because the voicemail cut him off right as he was getting into the granular details about how their revised seating arrangement had lowered department errors by almost a full half-percent.
Despite multiple coworkers insisting that the Business section of nationwide newspapers focus almost exclusively on national and global corporations, Holmes insisted that his presentation was worth covering.
“For 99% of the workforce, all these mergers and CEO buyouts and rebrandings mean absolutely nothing,” Holmes told his department while constantly refreshing the Washington Post’s website on his laptop, phone and iPad. “But I’m out here putting together the modern-day version of Kaizen, and no one says a thing.”