Corporate Executives Optimistic That Popeye’s Fried Chicken Sandwich Craze Will Finally Put #MeToo Movement Behind Them

New Orleans, LA – After spending months desperately fighting the urge grope their secretaries, executives across America are hopeful that the social media buzz around Popeye’s new fried chicken sandwich would permanently take the spotlight away from the #MeToo movement. Anonymous sources are excited to see something well-meaning and lighthearted trend on Twitter for once, as opposed to the daily onslaught of hashtags dedicated to the latest scandal.

“Now that the country can rally behind a delicious fried chicken sandwich that isn’t made by a literal hate group, I think we can pretty much put all of the horrors and atrocities of the past three to forty years behind us,” stated one anonymous executive as he drilled peep holes into the women’s bathroom. “It’s time to realize that we’re a better country when instead of focusing on who’s harassing who, or how much CEO salaries have skyrocketed when compared to the average worker and instead focus on some trans fats-induced bliss.”

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