WeWork Executives Concerned IPO Won’t Flame Out Nearly As Badly As Uber

Manhattan, NY – After watching Uber post a $5.4 billion operating loss in the second quarter alone, office space disrupter WeWork is suddenly concerned that their own IPO won’t be able to disappoint investors at the level of the ride-sharing app. According to sources, CEO Adam Neumann has been working around the clock trying to figure out a way to create at least another $1 billion in payout bonuses after their IPO just so that the company doesn’t embarrass itself after going public.

“It’s always been WeWork’s goal to build a mirage of a business idea, reel in some sucker investors with snazzy lobbies and free coffee, then cash out big while they’re suddenly trying to figure out why all of our clients are paying us in social media mentions versus any actual currency,” stated Neumann. “But now that I’ve seen the total house of cards that Uber has built and how quickly it’s all collapsing, I realize that , despite our best efforts, I’ve simply spent too much time making WeWork a more reputable business model than Uber.”

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