San Diego, CA – Tired of hearing the same tired business cliche from his manager that his feature requests were just as fruitless as attempting to “boil the ocean”, senior product manager Wilson McDonald headed to Mission Beach with his trusty magnifying glass to finally prove that the seemingly impossible task could easily be done.
“I’m sick of hearing ‘Wilson, it sounds like you’re just trying to boil the ocean’ whenever I come up with a gamechanging idea,” bemoaned McDonald. “Like it would be impossible to build a data set of every single American’s eating habits for the last 20 years, build an algorithm predicting when they’ll die of heart failure, and then create a direct-to-consumer coffin business model, completely disrupting the funeral home industry.
“As soon as I finish killing off all the marine life in the Pacific, I’m going to march straight into my boss’ office and demand he puts my coffin app on the roadmap.”
As of press time, McDonald was considering peeing in the ocean to help speed his endeavor along.