Palo Alto, CA – Controversy rocked tech startup Miyogee after employees realized that the foosball table is actually two feet shorter than regulation length, nullifying the results of their office tournaments. Shock quickly turned to anger, and Miyogee employees gathered in the kitchen to voice their outrage.
“Our company perks list 401k matching, free catered lunches, and ‘championship-level’ foosball tournaments,” QA engineer Mike Parker bellowed to his coworkers. “How can we believe any of this is real when were missing over a foot-and-a-half of table? Have they secretly been deducting lunch from our paychecks?”
Miyogee executives attempted to de-escalate the conflict, but were simultaneously exasperated that the situation even needed to be addressed.
“Look, the whole ‘championship-level’ foosball thing is clearly intended to be a joke, since I’m pretty sure foosball is only played by office workers on their break and in frat house basements,” explained Maureen Silver, V.P. of People Operations. “We won the stupid thing at Dave and Buster’s, and the only reason I picked the foosball table is because they were out of air hockey tables.”
Upon hearing Silver’s comments, Miyogee employees unanimously decided to go on strike after learning that they almost had an air hockey table.