Carson City, NV – After multiple complaints that cotton is uncomfortably chafing on his six-pack, public relations specialist Percy Roberts spends almost all of his time at work exploring opportunities to flaunt his toned core around the office without violating H.R. guidelines. Roberts, whose daily gym routine consists of an hour of biceps curls and an hour of ab crunches while posting selfies and inspirational quotes on Instagram, has used almost any excuse he can come up with to rip off whatever shirt he has off, such as accidentally spilling a cup of water on himself to offering his shirt as kleenex to his coworkers after office manager Ken Flowers’ dog was hit by a truck.
Despite Roberts’ paralyzing fear that his coworkers aren’t aware of his six-pack abs, or that he can crush an acorn using just his serratus muscles, coworkers have repeatedly told him that they’ve seen more than enough of his midsection, estimating that he probably goes shirtless 80% of the time at work.
“Last week, Percy showed up shirtless to his desk in the middle of the afternoon and said it was because he accidentally left it in the men’s room again,” said accountant Anne Wood. “And by now were so used to seeing him topless that we were more focused on getting Percy to explain why he takes his shirt off in the bathroom.”