After Closing First Sale, Account Executive Changes Voicemail Message To Wu-Tang Clan’s C.R.E.A.M.

Atlanta, GA – After reaching a handshake deal with local legal firm Peachtree Attorneys on an entry-level Canon printer purchase, corporate printer sales rep Dwayne Belfort embraced his newfound identity as a take-no-prisoners dealmaker by updating his answering machine message to Wu-Tang Clan’s 26-year-old classic, “C.R.E.A.M.” Belfort believes that the song, a legendary rap anthem by Raekwon, Inspectah Deck, and Method Man describing the illegal and extreme means they went through in order to get money, perfectly encapsulates his worldview and his own success story. When asked to describe how a white male born in Savannah then attended the University of Georgia, and whose only encounter with the cops stemmed from a police officer helping him change the tire of his Toyota Avalon, Belfort simply stated that “it doesn’t matter if you sell drugs or Epsons, the hustle is still the same.”

“Listen, if someone calls this number, they already know they’re getting the biggest hustler in the printer game,” boasted Belfort, who has yet to actually send over any contractual paperwork to the client. “Aint no point in saying, ‘hi, you’ve reached Dylan Belfort, the greatest Mid-Level Sales Southeast Division Account Executive,’ when the classic Wu-Tang anthem about dolla dolla bills says all of that in just over three minutes.”

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