Knoxville, TN – Tom Mackenzie, an alleged grown man that doesn’t believe in the tooth fairy or Santa Claus, raised panic among his coworkers after asking if anyone had caught last night’s episode of WWE Raw. Mackenzie was unsure why his coworkers sat with their mouths agape staring at him, and proceeded to weigh in with his own musings on whether John Cena deserved a title shot at the next pay-per-view event, completely unaware that he had just outed himself as not only a pro wrestling viewer, but also one of those guys that actually spends money to watch it.
Mackenzie’s manager, Gregg Collier, told sources that he would never forget the abject terror that spread across the team when his newest hire started talking about how much he hoped the legacy of the Intercontinental Title would be properly restored by current champion Finn Balor.
“One second were all sitting around joking about getting vegan for Toms welcome lunch, and the next thing we know, he’s putting a signed poster of Chris Jericho up on his cubicle,” recalled Collier. “God, I really hope he didn’t get that signature himself.”
As of press time, Brenda Wallace, V.P. of Human Resources, immediately began working on revamping their hiring processes to ensure that any fans of pro wrestling are washed out immediately.