Coworker Jumps On Women’s World Cup Bandwagon Mainly As Excuse To Start Drinking At 8:30 In Morning

Chandler, WA – Despite never showing any interest in women’s soccer her entire life, functional alcoholic Billie Quinn enthusiastically joined her coworkers in their Women’s World Cup viewing parties after discovering that early-morning drinking during the event was considered socially acceptable. Quinn has previously piggybacked onto her coworkers’ social events in an attempt to normalize her own boozing habits, including drinking parties for the Men’s World Cup, the Olympics, and the Little League World Series.

“I wish someone had told me back in college how great a beer tastes with breakfast,” Quinn stated to her coworkers, who regularly pours Bailey’s Irish cream into her morning coffee. She then made multiple jokes about how they should do this before work every morning, hoping anyone would take her up on the offer, even Tom Cummings, a financial analyst Quinn had literally never talked to before today.

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