Shinobi Assassin Disappointed To Discover “Backend Ninja” Job Position Has No Actual Ties To Ninjutsu

Tokyo, JP – Matsuhiro Kaneda Takashi of the Mishima clan was befuddled to discover that a job posting for a back-end ninja role at a Silicon Valley startup had literally no tie-in whatsoever to his decades of experience as a trained silent assassin. Takashi was aghast when the recruiter explained that while a professional ninja in Japan is required to understand how to silently run on rooftops and throw a shuriken accurately from 300 meters away, in America the title of ninja is bestowed upon whoever can code in multiple languages and isn’t a dick when QA finds a bug.

Takashi has long dreamed of finding work in America, especially as his own role has grown outdated in Japan. Instead of sending assassins like Takashi to kill those that threaten them, the Japanese have instead quietly killing their rivals by simply working them to death.

Despite the challenges, Takashi remains optimistic that his skills in poison, deception, and bladefighting will translate over well for his next interview with American Ninja Warrior.

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2 comments

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