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Coworker Boldly Declares Working Four-Day Weeks Superior To Five-Day Weeks

Tampa, FL – After arriving to two hours late to work while clearly hungover, a bleary-eyed Justin Edwards stated matter-of-factly to disinterested coworkers that five day work-weeks are too long, and that four day work-weeks are clearly the better option. Despite his bold proclamation, Edwards’ coworkers consider themselves clearly familiar with his stance, as Edwards has made clear multiple times that he will vote for the first political candidate who extends the weekend to five days, which he calls a “basic human right.”

“Two days off isn’t enough time to get your mind right and ready for work,” complained Edwards. “The first night I’m just pounding whatever light beer is on sale just to get out of ‘work mode.’ Then on Saturday, that’s a day to party, and at my age that takes a lot of planning and focus, it might as well be a job in and of itself. And come Sunday, all that anxiety about the work week starts kicking in, so obviously I gotta start day-drinking just to make sure I get toasted adequately, otherwise what’s the point of having a day off? If I’m not getting blackout drunk, I might as well go to work.”

Related: Finance Manager Unsure How To Casually Bring Up Shaving His Chest Over The Weekend

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