Op-Ed: As The Victim Of Workplace Harassment, I Should Get To Pick Where We Go To Lunch On Fridays

By Theresa Gabler
Senior Marketing Manager, Holmes Aerodynamics

Hey everyone, hope you’ve had a great week at work, got all your projects finished, and didn’t get cornered in the bathroom by the CEO’s son! I know we usually do a rotation thing when it comes to pick lunch, and since it’s Kevin’s turn to pick, I think we all know what that means: someplace with great lunchtime drink specials! However, since no one in Human Resources is following up on my multiple documented instances of harassment, I think the fair thing to do is to let me pick lunch on Fridays going forward.

Kevin, you seem to be pretty upset about my proposal, based on how you’re just standing there silently fuming with your arms crossed. The reason I’m able to infer that is because that’s exactly how I was standing when you told HR that you didn’t recall the time Jason came up behind my chair for a “surprise mammogram inspection.” Perhaps now you can begin to understand a fraction of the frustration that I felt when someone I considered a work friend instead turns out to be more focused on their own self-preservation.

Anyone else have any problems with this decision? Josh, you always like to roll your eyes whenever I ask you to walk me to my car after work because I don’t feel safe being alone, are you going to do that again or can you manage to keep looking straight ahead for once?

Okay great. Kevin, you’re driving, so stay sober. We’re getting Mongolian.

Related: Op-Ed: If Being Promoted To Vice President Due To Nepotism Is Wrong, Then I Don’t Want To Put In The Work To Be Right

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