Duluth, MN – As he replayed their earlier conversation repeatedly while stuck in I-35 traffic, Roy Thomas couldn’t contain his smile as he came up with flawless, quick-witted solutions to his Andre Rhodes’ questions roughly seven hours after being unable to answer any of his manager’s counterpoints. Thomas’ imagined scenario played out the exact opposite of the actual event, a marketing proposal he shared with the company executive team, where Rhodes deconstructed the entire presentation through eagle-eyed questions like “how much will this cost?”, “what do you think we’ll gain from doing this?”, and “why is your fly still open, I pointed it out to you before the meeting started?”
Thomas was couldn’t articulate an answer to any of these questions, though he did manage to zip his fly halfway up before getting caught in his boxers. He would then proceed to play out the same ritual he always does on his drive home: reliving all of the most painful moments of his workday and imagining how he could have done them better.
“When Andre asked ‘how will we pay for my marketing proposal ‘, I would respond with ‘hey Andre, maybe they didn’t teach you this at Harvard Business School, but it actually takes money to make money,” Thomas told his rearview mirror reflection. “I learned that from Will Smith on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, so I guess one of us has always been a student of the business game, and one of us needed to get Harvard’s help just to catch up.”
As of press time, Thomas was busy explaining to his cat, Carlton, what he should have said to Sheila Eaton when she rejected his invitation to junior prom.