Boston, MA – Stockford Architecture employees sat in shocked disbelief after lead designer Dwight Cunningham refused multiple inquiries regarding a personal Amazon delivery, the latest in a long line of incidents that has created a rift between Cunningham and other employees. Cunningham has developed a standoffish reputation among his coworkers, especially after refusing to divulge why he took last last Friday off, failing to share the results of his last doctor’s visit, and ignoring any and all Instagram friend requests.
Coworkers are adamant that Cunningham is hiding a dark side, and his mysterious delivery has only confirmed their suspicions.
“I don’t understand how Dwight can possibly say that it’s ‘none of our business’ what’s in that package when it’s clearly big enough to hold a gun, or a couple kilos of whatever drug he’s most likely dealing when he leaves the office,” stated a suspicious Tracey Martinez. “If he truly had nothing to hide, he would let us open every single delivery, share access to his work calendar, and read his texts out loud the second he receives a new one.”
Despite Martinez’s suspicions, a small faction of Stockford Architecture employees were unconvinced that Cunningham is living a malicious life outside of work.
“While I definitely think it’s odd how walled-off Dwight keeps all of us, it’s a bit of a leap to think he’s doing anything malicious,” said a shockingly well-reasoned Kelley Poole. “Besides, there’s no way to make a reasonable guess what’s inside his delivery. The last time I ordered AA batteries from Amazon, it came inside a box that I could comfortably stand in.”