Scandal Rocks Bethlehem Animal Shelter After Workers Uncover Secret Cat Orgies

Bethlehem, PA – Animal care worker Darlene Blanchard was forced to flee Bethlehem Animal Shelter after she stumbled upon Mittens, Muffins, Princess Zelda and Catson Wentz (named after Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz) engaging in what has candidly been referred to as a “feline f—fest.” Blanchard was shocked to discover that the adorable kittens, all of whom have been the background on her iPhone, would give in to such carnal instincts.

“Those little furballs all look so innocent, especially Catson Wentz,” sobbed Blanchard. “I was thinking of giving him to my sister, but after seeing what him and Mittens were doing to Princess Zelda, I think I’ll just get her a turtle instead.”

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