Aurora, CO – Clearly, marketing director James Thornton has been unable to complete job applicant Elaine Gilbert’s interview evaluation form after finding himself completely perplexed on what arbitrary score to award her under “Culture Fit.” Thornton told coworkers that it was hard to determine the correct rating, partly due to his own self-doubts on scoring a person on a subjective scale after only meeting with him for an hour, combined with a Byzantine interview feedback form built by H.R. that asks hiring managers to score candidates on undefined subjects like “Can-Do-It-Ness”, “Sass Level (Acceptable Kind”, and “Sass Level (Bad Kind).”
As he worked through the 44-page form, Thornton continued to hit roadblocks while trying to give Gilbert a fair evaluation.
“Based on how great a conversation we had, Elaine’s clearly a 24 out of 27 on ‘Communication Skills’, but she said she’s never finished a marathon, nor ever intends to, so I guess I should give her a three out of eight for “Lung Capacity?” Thornton asked no one in particular.
Sources note that, despite struggling on many of the subjective fields of the interview feedback form, Thornton felt very confident ranking Gilbert’s “Beach Body” as a 11 out of 10.