Coworker Loudly Arguing With No One About How ‘The Matrix’ Movies Should Be Ranked

Offering an olive branch by stating everyone can agree that The Matrix is the best of all Matrix-related film properties, Allan Hutchison then proceeded to shout at no one in particular that he could no longer sit idly by while misinformation about how the rest of the movies should be ranked. As far as Hutchison is concerned, The Matrix Reloaded is clearly the next-best movie, followed by The Matrix Revolution, and anyone who says otherwise needs to have their head examined.

Despite none of his coworkers attempting to argue him with at all and sitting silently for five minutes hoping he would walk away, Hutchison stood on top of his chair to begin arguing about Matrix movies that almost no one in his office had even heard about.

“I can already see you guys getting ready to debate where The Animatrix falls among the Wachowskis’ original trilogy, but I refuse to acknowledge that it’s even a true part of The Matrix Cinematic Universe,” Hutchison shouted while repeatedly clapping his hands in Jonah Molina’s face. “We shouldn’t even be having this argument, it’s like arguing when a human life should be recognized, when everyone knows the right answer is whenever they first see Keanu Reeves change from being Mr. Anderson and finally accepting his true identity as ‘The One.'”

Ignoring his coworkers’ gasps and his manager, Margaret Guerrero, trying to pull him away from the rest of the office, Hutchison instead pressed on.

“Oh look, here comes the ‘ The Animatrix is officially recognized by the Wachowskis as canon’ argument,” he said in the general direction of a shocked and horrified Rebecca Adler. “Okay, fine, I’ll bite. If we want to include that, why not include the video game, Enter The Matrix? It’s technically ‘canon’ too, now isn’t it Rebecca?”

Adler, who tries to avoid any interaction with Hutchison as much as possible even prior to his current tirade, sat petrified, unsure whether agreeing or disagreeing with him would make the conversation stop. Fortunately, a quick-thinking Guerrero convinced Hutchison that there was someone in the lobby that believes Solo: A Star Wars Story is a more complicated film with deeper insight than The Empire Strikes Back. As of press time, Hutchison is still arguing with a security guard that has never seen any of the Star Wars movies.

Related: Employee Successfully Fends Off Terrorist Attack During Meeting Daydream

Leave a Reply