Spokane, WA – Employees were confused to see CFO Bill Harrington going about his normal work routine as his wife, Kaye, politely minded her own business in the kitchen, smiling awkwardly at anyone who accidentally made befuddled eye contact with her. Sources report that Bill has offered no explanation as to why his wife is there, and has only acknowledged her presence by letting her know that he’ll be ready to leave “when the work is done.”
Coworkers noted that this is the first time that they have seen Kaye since the Christmas party, where they spent the entire night standing by themselves near the dessert table and making absolutely no small talk. Bill wouldn’t actually go on to confirm that his date was actually his wife until three weeks after the party, when he accidentally let it slip that his wife enjoyed the frittatas.
Acting quickly, employees formed an impromptu tiger team dedicated to figuring out why Harrington’s wife is loitering in the office on a random Tuesday for no apparent reason. Senior developer Vic Fawkes visually confirmed that neither Bill or his wife had any luggage in the office, and, after stealing Bill’s keys, was able to confirm nothing was in the trunk of their car as well. After engaging Kaye in meaningless office small talk, senior director Patricia Carrington eliminate the possibility that their home had burned down. Finally, social media manager Rachel Valderrama confirmed that Kaye was still employed on her LinkedIn profile, having even liked a post a few hours ago made by her boss, “Why Hustle Beats Smarts.”
“No one has really been able to get much out of Kaye beyond very polite banter, and Bill seems just as confused as the rest of us that she’s here,” stated Valderrama. “But considering she just asked me for the office WiFi password, I do know she isn’t leaving anytime soon.”