Washington, D.C. – Americans were distraught and confused at a national level on Tax Day this year after finding out that last year’s massive tax reform plan still required them to continue pay way too much money to a bunch of anonymous government a–holes, instead thinking that last year’s bitter back-and-forth over tax reform between Democrats and Republicans was about abolishing the tax code altogether. Americans were left astonished after discovering that the rich guy they elected to be president seemed more concerned with providing tax breaks for other rich shmucks than helping the average American household.
“Trump kept bragging about how he never paid taxes, and he was the only guy that could fix the tax code,” said Jennifer Duncan, essential oils saleswoman. “I figured his plan would just mean all of us mailing a bag of poop into the IRS, and, four to six weeks later, I’d have an offshore bank account with a couple million in it.”
When asked who she thought would pay for the massive deficit if Americans stopped paying taxes, Duncan shrugged and said Mexico.
Despite their anger and confusion over tax reform, 99% of Americans surveyed reported that they’re completely confident in whatever Congress comes up with for healthcare reform.