Physical Therapist Offended Patient Hasn’t Gotten A Boner Yet

Jacksonville, FL – After Dan Newman confirmed for the fifth time that he hadn’t spontaneously achieved erection during their rehab session, physical therapist Clint Pittman found himself affronted that his deep tissue massage hadn’t generated any sexual excitement in his patient whatsoever. Pittman repeatedly declared that, in over 1,000 rehabilitation massages, this was the first time that he wasn’t able to coax an unwanted boner from a patient, while repeatedly stating that the problem was on Newman’s end, not his.

“Ask any other guy that has ever come into this rehab facility, and they’ll reluctantly tell you that they all accidentally went full Woodrow Wilson in here,” stated Pittman. “Heck, you don’t even need to ask them, I keep tapes of every session so that I can see the look on each man’s face when he realizes that, no matter how straight he is or how much feeling he’s lost below his waist, I’m about to coax a big old throbber out of him.

“I don’t consider my work done until the patient is apologizing profusely for accidentally popping wood and begging me not to tell the receptionist what happened.”

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