Dallas, TX – Inspired by what he calls Eric and Donald Trump Jr’s “power look”, regional account executive Dean Maxwater has decided that he, too, would no longer wears ties with his suits to appear as cool yet sophisticated as the President’s oldest sons. Maxwater has repeatedly complimented the brothers for looking like they could simultaneously “run a company and crush some burpees” without needing to change.
“Before the Trump bros came into my life, I was just your typical swagger-less sales guy walking into meetings with a noose around my neck,” said Maxwater. “Little did I realize that the true power brokers in the highest echelons of our country all have one secret to their success: not wearing a lame-ass tie.”
Maxwater adjusted his pants crotch before continuing.
“Just imagine you’re sitting in a meeting room, and then all of a sudden here come Eric and Don, Jr., suited up, but no tie,” day-dreamed Maxwater. “You’re like, ‘whoa, I thought we were here to do some business, but these guys got other plans.’ Anyone that shows up in a suit without a tie is probably a second away from hitting the nearest Crossfit box or bow hunting some wild buffalo. Now that’s how you look f—ing cool.
“Way cooler than that uptight dork Jared.”