Santa Monica, CA – Caught off-guard by his coworkers’ rapid agreement to “go somewhere healthy and light” for lunch, a visibly catatonic Peter Donnelly found himself sitting in the back of his coworker’s Toyota Mirai as his department drove to the nearest vegetarian restaurant instead of his preferred destination, such as an Applebee’s or the deli department of the nearest grocery store. Donnelly’s coworkers laughed when he asked if the restaurant serves Bud Light, which he immediately pretended was just a funny joke and not a legitimate inquiry.
According to Donnelly, this would be the first time he hasn’t eaten meat since he was nine months old and his mom started blending a 16 ounce sirloin steak with his baby formula.
“It just happened so fast,” recalled a still-shocked Donnelly. ” One second we’re all sitting here spitballing whether or not we should go with a healthy option for lunch, which I assumed was just a joke, like when I suggest Indian food to my wife. Then the next thing I know everyone’s signed up to eat at something called ‘Veggie Grill’, and while I’m laughing, it dawns on me that they’re not joking. Is it even legal to include ‘Grill’ in the name of your restaurant if you don’t serve meat?”