Seattle, WA – Determined to fix a problem that he says has been ignored for far too long, Amazon founder and world’s richest billionaire Jeff Bezos announced that his new charity, Amazon Meals Prime, would provide free meals once a week to underpaid Amazon employees that struggle to eat every night. Bezos noted that the service would only be available to employees subscribed to Amazon Prime, and he also mentioned there would be an unrelated price hike to the service.
“It saddens me that our government has done nothing to help starving people in our own country, especially those who for some unknown reason seem to be clustered closely to all of our Amazon warehouse locations,” stated Bezos. “Fortunately, Amazon Meals Prime will ensure that at least once a week, some random stranger will throw a box of food from their moving car onto their front stoop without even slowing down.”
Bezos paused to convert 10,000 Whole Foods full-time employees to part-time before continuing.
“I plan on dedicating the next 10 to 20 years to find a long-term solution to the unending suffering that these poor Amazon employees deal with, unless my other plan to automate all of their jobs out of existence comes to fruition first.”