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Facebook’s Latest Policy Update Requires Advertisers Say Something Nice About Mark Zuckerberg’s Mom

Menlo Park, CA – In what it claims is an effort to increase civil discourse on the platform, Facebook’s recent ad policy changes now politely demand that any ad mentions what a great job Karen Zuckerberg, Mark Zuckerberg’s mother, did raising such a nice young man. The revised terms and conditions also accept any ads that mention what a great set of manners Mark has as long as they mention that he must have gotten it from being such a good boy for his mommy.

The move comes at a time when Facebook is still reeling from multiple scandals involving its platform’s massive data collection, its role in promoting fake news, the recent attempt to stifle Elizabeth Warren’s anti-Facebook campaign, and recent polls showing that 99% of Facebook users believe Mark Zuckerberg is an android.

“With some of the recent misfires involving our ad targeting, it’s important for all of us at Facebook to win back the public’s trust,” stated legal counsel Fabio Arbionza. “From now on, we won’t accept any advertising that doesn’t clearly communicate to the user that our founder is a very sweet child and that his mom, Karen, wouldn’t have raised a boy that would ever purposely do something malevolent with user data.

“And everyone knows you can trust a company that was founded by a mommy’s boy.”

Related: CEO Furious Tech Team Never Stole Facebook User Data

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