San Diego, CA – Declaring that this is the year he finally he stays committed to a goal, Wayne Sutton has sworn off doing any work during Lent. Sutton clarified to his manager that his abstainment would include not just his job, but also any yardwork, housework, and any work to improve himself as a person.
When confronted by his girlfriend, Sutton paused his self-imposed penance of watching every Marvel movie in sequential order to defend his actions.
“I’ve never been able to give up anything for 40 days straight,” explained Sutton. “The closest I got was when I quit drinking after I got locked in a storage locker for three days. But that wasn’t really by choice, and I definitely needed a celebration bender after the cleaning crew found me.
“But this time, I think I can stick to not doing any work whatsoever. In fact, I’m so committed to giving up work that I might see if I can last 80 days instead of 40.”