La Jolla, CA – Tony Rhodes, CEO of gym equipment supplier Iron Surplus, was blindsided by an anonymous negative Glassdoor review about his company that didn’t even mention his diverse and historically accurate sword collection. Instead, it focused on the lack of leadership from the executive team, the company’s constant lies to their clients, and the abnormally high stabbing injury rate among employees.
Somehow the anonymous review failed to paint a complete picture of just how badass the Iron Surplus is by never mentioning that Rhodes has almost two dozen samurai swords, four of which are actually authentic, though the other nineteen are the highest grade replica available for purchase. The review also made no reference to Rhodes’ recent purchase of a replica Scottish claymore two-handed sword, which Rhodes purchased after re-watching Braveheart.
“It’s almost laughable how badly this review went out of its way to omit all the things that make Iron Surplus great,” stated Rhodes. “Our company draws its identity from my incredibly rocking sword collection, which is why, much like the katana blade, our clients both respect us and fear us.”
Sources expect Rhodes to address the review’s feedback by adding “really sick” ninja stars to his weapon collection.