Pensacola, FL – Decrying the recent discovery of illegal prostitution rings in Florida a “disgusting, unforgivable crime that shouldn’t be allowed in Florida”, warehouse manager Brock Nixon immediately pondered how payment is handled, wondering whether if the recipient has to pay beforehand while making a special request, or if it just occurs on the spot during the massage.
“It’s just such a disgusting crime that takes advantage of these women, you have to wonder if the creep knows the specific massage to ask for, like if they ask for something like a ‘lower-body, tension-relief, extra tissue’ massage, and then the masseuse gives a friendly wink and nod,” pondered Nixon. “It would also be a great public service if any of these news outlets explained how the whole process works so that I know how to make sure I don’t ever do it, like if I was asking for a massage and then got this spasm in my left arm and it suddenly looked like I was making a pumping gesture, and boom, now I’m paying for sex.”
Despite multiple coworkers attempting to change the subject, Nixon pressed on.
“Or does the masseuse take one look at the customer and know, ‘oh this is a naughty boy, I bet he wants something special’, like there’s just a vibe that this person gives off. It would be great to know how they pick up on that vibe, if it’s a cologne, or a hat, or just a knowing head tilt, because sometimes I’m coming into a massage parlor for my neck, and you never know which way it’s going to roll.”
Sources report that Nixon is currently heading to Jupiter Jail to protest on behalf of the arrested sex workers and, if there’s time, ask them how negotiating the rate for a threesome works.