Entire Marketing Department Blown Away By Coworker Using Excel Shortcuts

Seattle, WA – Jaws dropped in disbelief on the Wowiezowie marketing team after college intern Trevor Newsome copied a value in Excel and pasted it into another cell without ever clicking on a single menu. Their astonishment only grew when Newsome later used the SUM function to total all the values in a column instead of just adding them all on a calculator.

Jeannette Lewis, senior director of marketing, considered it the most impressive display of technical expertise that she has seen since a previous coworker showed her how to add a photo of her dog to her MySpace page in 2006.

“I’ve seen Abby Becker, the email marketing manager, copy and paste by right-clicking, and that was a little too advanced for me,” said Lewis. “But what Trevor is doing, it’s like some sort of unholy unity between man and machine.

“I never thought that a movie like The Matrix could ever happen, but it turns out I’m living in it.”

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