Venice, CA – In a dubious effort to provide subject matter expertise during a workplace discussion about marathon training, Sebastian Adolfo seemed to equate the runner’s high sensation with the typical effects of getting high on marijuana. Adolfo noted that he didn’t even feel a runner’s high when he ran his first 5k, but now he gets one if he just runs under the Santa Monica pier for 20 feet.
Adolfo’s coworkers grew skeptical about whether he has ever even gone for a jog when he began breaking down the differences between a “productivity runner’s high” and a “couch-lock runner’s high”, which he primarily likes to spend replaying Crash Bandicoot games. Even with their suspicions, he pressed on.
“I always make sure that I’m finishing my third mile near an In-N-Out Burger, since that’s when my runner’s high munchies will really kick in,” Adolfo explained. “Usually around mile fifteen is when I’ll stop at 7-Eleven and load up on Pringles because by that point your body just needs as much salt as possible.”
Adolfo later invited his coworkers to go get a runner’s high at lunch, then head to Taco Bell. He also volunteered to drive.