Office Bans Alcohol During Company Hours, Unless Employee Could Just Really Use A Drink

Indianapolis, IN – In an effort to crack down on drinking at work, SkanduTech has updated their policy to forbid any alcohol consumption while working, except in cases where it would just be really, really helpful to have a glass or two. Previously, SkandueTech had developed a reputation for not only allowing but actively encouraging employees to drink by celebrating company milestones with champagne toasts, passing out beers at birthdays, and including a liter of Absolut Vodka with every new hire welcome package.

Employee feedback to the change was almost unanimously negative, with many concerned that the change would negative impact SkanduTech culture.

“The only reason I can make it through my life in Indiana is because of the incredibly open-minded attitude towards drinking,” stated Doug Clinton, Vice President of Sales. “But now I can only drink when I ‘really need to’? I go through a fifth of Jim Beam on the drive to work.

“The last time I didn’t go a day without drinking was my first day as an altar boy, and you best believe that the priest gave me some wine the very next day.”

To help minimize frustrations, Human Resources provided employees a list of situations where a drink would be tolerated:

  • An Excel file contains a broken formula
  • Whenever a coworker’s pet has to go to the vet
  • Getting a good performance review
  • Getting a bad performance review
  • Attending any meeting that includes”recurring” in the title

In addition, the memo stated that employees are also allowed to drink whenever they have “a case of the Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Fridays.”

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