Bellevue, WA – Inspired by Marie Kondo to declutter their workplace, electropop music review site Technocritical dramatically simplified their floor plan by removing both bathrooms and instead installing one giant trough to be shared by all employees. The change comes after Technocritical’s previous renovations, such as removing the office fridge to improve feng shui, no longer providing parking so encourage employees to walk more, and slicing healthcare benefits in half so that employees aren’t stuck spending as much time in hospitals.
CEO Kevin McGee denied reports that the changes were cost-cutting measures as a result of over 15 months of failing to turn a profit,instead insisting that the renovationss are meant to improve office productivity and team communication.
“Our workers should feel proud to be on the cutting edge of so many office enhancements,” McGee said while leaning comfortably against the 60-foot long trough. “We’ve been able to convert the old bathrooms into conference rooms, and the custodial staff is fully confident that they’ll be able to reduce the lingering odor by anywhere between 35 to 65 percent.
“And, as an added bonus, I now get to make small-talk with our female employees while we’re both squatting over the trough.”
While employees have unanimously voiced their dissatisfaction with these changes, the executive team has seen a noticeable uptick in productivity, most likely attributed to the fact that lunches are oftentimes skipped in order to avoid going to the trough.
Spurred by the success of these minimalist changes, McGee’s next minimalist improvement will involve moving the lactation room into his office.