Portland, OR – Renee Quinn was pleasantly surprised when her silent prayer asking God to convince her manager, Colleen Ortiz, to cancel their 5 p.m. touch base was answered, restoring her faith in a higher power. Quinn’s salvation from the late meeting ensured that she wouldn’t miss happy hour at the nearby Chili’s.
According to sources, God considered answering 8 year-old Mary Wright’s request to find her terrier, Dennis Wallace’s plea to win the Powerball lotto, and almost the entire U.S. population desperately praying for the New England Patriots to lose the Super Bowl so they can actually enjoy it. The Lord opted to help Quinn because she promised to start going to church every weekend instead of just Christmas and Easter, though Quinn told her parents that she was only “40% sure” she would make it to church on Sunday due to plans to get mimosas.
When asked to comment on why she cancelled the meeting, Ortiz couldn’t articulate why, just knowing that it was the right decision to make.
“I’m not sure what came over me, but it was like a higher power spoke directly to my soul,” said Ortiz. “That voice said, ‘Colleen, scheduling meetings at the very end of the day is the work of evil spirits that seek to cause great harm. Yea verily, reschedule your meeting with Renee to tomorrow at lunch, preferably someplace with good drink specials.’
“Gosh, I hope she likes Chili’s.”