Newark, NJ – After less than three minutes into a brainstorming meeting, graphic designer and noted woman repellent Danny Young began calculating whether he could have sex with his two coworkers, Erin Cho and Dory Williams, at the same time. Despite the fact that Cho has a boyfriend and Williams is happily married, Young thinks the sexual tension was palpable in the meeting, basing it mainly off the fact that he’s a heterosexual male and Cho and Williams are, to the best of his knowledge, women.
After both girls laughed at his joke about needing a beer to get through this project, Young immediately confirmed his suspicions that, if he played his cards right and read the situation correctly, he could definitely sleep with both of them simultaneously, confident that his futon would provide ample room.
“Once Michelle said that she liked my idea to make this a weekly recurring meeting, I estimated that my chances of sleeping with both of them at the same time jumped from about 60% to a solid 95%,” estimated Young, who has been fired twice for sexual harassment. “Trust me, I’m really good at picking up on these kinds of signs.”
Despite his confident assurance, Young refused to answer whether he has ever had a threesome before, and also avoided answering whether he has ever been in an actual relationship.
Young plans on continuing the flirtatious conversation via company email after he can find the best lighting to photograph his genitals in.