Secret Santa Party Just An Elaborate Excuse To Exchange Booze At Work

Aberdeen, SD – Symose employees shared a hearty laugh when Blanche Simmons opened the last present at the company secret Santa party, revealing a plastic one liter bottle of Bowman Vodka.  Simmons, just like all of her coworkers, had been given a copious amount of alcohol after what coworkers described as the worst year in Symose history.  

“I thought it was a pretty long year,” said shipping manager Lana Wade, who has spent the past six months working 12 hour days and canceling her annual vacation to Appleton, North Dakota.  “Apparently, so did everyone else.

“I asked myself, ‘what would I want for Christmas?’, and nothing would be better than to spend the entire day getting so bombed I forget about everything going on at the office.  Hence the reason I got Roger (Sindval) homemade moonshine from the nearest Native American reservation.”

Sindval proceeded to tear up while hugging Wade for what he called “the best present I’ve gotten in years”, rating it above the ties his wife and daughters have given him for the past decade.  

The yuletide feelings didn’t stop there.  

“This is the best office present I’ve ever received,” said account executive Bianca Gonzalez after opening a handle of Jack Daniels.  “I can’t even wait, I’m going to put this to use right now. “

Symose executives decided to overlook employees blatantly drinking on the job after Darren Farmer, V.P. of Human Resources, was seen organizing Jagermeister shots with the warehouse team.  

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