Palo Alto, CA – Gavin Dryson, V.P. of Marketing at virtual reality ad network Virtual Impact, told the media that he’s looking forward to the upcoming wave of virtual reality technology that will soon be easily available across the world, and that he’s even more excited to ruin the experiences of every user by plastering ads everywhere technologically possible. Dryson’s team has been hard at work brainstorming invasive, awful ad placements that will revolutionize the way audiences find themselves completely enraged by irrelevant corporate messaging.
“Our advertising technology lets you take incredibly sculpted worlds in a fully immersive sensory environment like none that’s ever been seen before, and jam it full of really crappy ads about mobile phone games, or trailers for Hallmark TV movies,” gloated Dryson, who has spent the previous ten years bombarding the Internet with scams to convert water into gasoline. “I probably shouldn’t even say this, but we’ve got one ad that’s so intense that our beta testers have actually started paying us to be let out of the simulation.”
Not willing to be outdone, Facebook has reportedly begun testing with their own new high-impact ads where their employees will physically staple a Groupon discount code to peoples’ heads.