Edmond, OK – When Kristen Cohen woke up after a stressful Thanksgiving playing dinner host, the last thing she was looking forward to was heading into work. Despite leaving later than usual, an easy commute into the office lifted her spirits. She found herself also pleasantly surprised to find premium parking available in the garage and to also be the first to show up in the office.
It wasn’t until 11:30 that it dawned on her that no one else was at the office, and that she actually had the day off. Cohen denied inquiries that she had come to work knowing that the office was closed as a way to avoid her family.
“Well, I could go back home and see if my dad finally accepted my little brother announcing he’s a woman on the inside,” pondered Cohen. “I could also check to see if my aunt has forgiven my mom for making out with my uncle.”
However, Cohen worried that she would show up right in the middle of their annual family post-Thanksgiving tradition of heavy drinking and blaming each other for their own failings. Cohen won last year’s game after she blamed her grandmother for giving birth to “a bunch of hillbillies that would’ve turned out just the same if they were raised in a barn”.
“Dang it all, I’d hate to show up late just when my family is getting their drunkest and meanest,” lamented Cohen. “I guess I’ll just stay late here and wrap up what may be the most productive day at work I’ve ever had in my life.”
After further reflection, Cohen now plans on staying at the office for either the entire weekend, or until her family drinks all of her booze and leaves without saying thanks, whichever comes first.