Chicago, IL – Senior account executive Mason Wyllie let everyone in his immediate vicinity know that he was let down by the office potluck, despite not bringing any food of his own. Coworkers confirmed that Wyllie, who has never actually cooked for himself and mainly subsists off of cereal and Hot Pockets, had written down “napkins” on the potluck meal list, but failed to bring any.
In an effort to make sure his disdain was spread across all his coworkers evenly, Wyllie went out of his way to sample all the different dishes – some of which were family recipes, others cultural traditions – lovingly prepared for the event. Wyllie was able to confirm firsthand that none of the dishes could “hold a candle to Applebee’s, let alone Chili’s”.
Much like his work style, Wyllie gave blunt and direct feedback to each coworker. He let Jamie Culpepper know that her homemade guacamole didn’t have any ghost pepper. Denis Boessen was informed that his fried chicken didn’t have enough dark meat. Wyllie told Libby Armstrong that it was “insensitive” of her not to bring gluten-free cupcakes, even though Wyllie doesn’t have Celiac disease. However, Wyllie’s cousin does have a gluten sensitivity, and if he had dropped by for lunch, Wyllie couldn’t even imagine what would’ve happened, nor would he have held himself accountable for cleaning out the bathroom afterwards.
Despite the overall lack of any culinary skills among his coworkers, Wyllie still found the determination to go back for a fourth helping of the subpar servings.