Disability Claims Spike 4000% After CEO Purchases Scooters For The Office

Venice, CA – After augmented reality developer Sporkulous added motorized scooters as a fun way to get around the office, employees filed over 80 disability claims due to riding-related injuries.  The claims included broken ankles, shin owies, and crushed toes.  The most debilitating claim came from developer Clayton Eng, who shattered his collarbone and rib cage after accidentally riding through a glass pane outside the main conference room.

The claim has yet to be approved since Eng exceeded the scooter’s 250 lb weight limit by over 130 lbs.

The scooters were purchased by Sporkulous CEO Tyson Cummings so that his app development team could build an accurate augmented reality scooter-sim app Traffic Nuisance.  However, Cummings failed to consider the fact that having vehicles capable of reaching 30 MPH in an indoor office could potentially lead to injury due to a combination of speed, tight corners, and the overall lack of coordination among his staff.

Due to the sheer volume of employee injuries, Sporkulous has put their next app, a knife-throwing simulator tentatively called Catch This!, on indefinite hiatus.

 

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