Hartford, CT – Boisterous H.R. representatives at local Connecticut bank, ConBank, were thrilled to send out a company-wide email announcing their latest Halloween outfit category, “Sluttiest Costume”, to be handed out during the bank’s annual Halloween party. Representatives confirmed that the winner would receive a bottle of Jack Daniels and a gift card to Victoria’s Secret.
“It’s a great opportunity for our team to really get into the Halloween spirit,” said Chief Culture Officer Stan Traeson. “We didn’t want our employees to feel out of place coming to work in a costume that you might expect to see at the bar but not in the office, so instead we’re going to create an environment where all of us can feel as comfortable dressed like we’re going to an orgy after work.”
Other awards include “Best Boobs (Female)”, “Best Crotch (Male)”, and “Best Lapdance”.
While employees at ConBank were uncomfortable with , office manager and noted floozy Natasha Jennings is looking forward to the event, calling it her “opportunity to shine”. Jennings then spent the next hour forcing coworkers into a debate about whether she should go as a slutty barista or a slutty dogwalker before Googling Britney Spears concert outfits for the remainder of the day.
H.R. representatives reminded employees that they’re also more than welcome to bring their children if they’re over 18 and still in college, preferably also in a sorority.