Costa Mesa, CA – Disaster struck at car magazine publisher Automojo after content editor Ed Austin’s failed attempt at a basic skateboard ollie instead sent the board flying directly into coworker Dylan Peters’ crotch. Multiple bystanders who had gathered to watch Austin’s “sick trick” confirmed that Peters fell to the ground immediately holding his groin while Austin asked him to give his board back so he could “give it another go”.
Peters was taken to the hospital and was reportedly conscious and aware during the trip, making sure to tell the ambulance drivers not to go over any speed bumps. While Austin has expressed sympathy towards Peters after nearly severing his twig and berries, the content editor has also adamantly refused to take full responsibility. Instead, Austin blamed the mishap on multiple coworkers refusing to let him take his shirt off before attempting the skateboard trick.
The timing couldn’t be worse for Austin, who last week accidentally incapacitated building security after asking to see his taser, and two months ago spilled hot coffee onto a nearby coworker when attempting to recreate a fight scene from the first John Wick. H.R. met with Austin to inform him that he must avoid injuring any coworker, Automojo office visitor, and nearby animal for the next 30 days; otherwise he will no longer be allowed into the office and forced to work from home.
Immediately following the meeting, Austin backed his Toyota Tercel into Automojo’s CEO.